Thoughts on Trust from a Hot Mess

Wow. First off, how is it already October? And second, have I really not blogged since April? My secret inner social media guru just did the math on how long it’s been since my last post… And she’s embarrassed.

What happened?

Life happened. New job, new state, new church, new roommate, new friendships. Sunny South Florida has seemed to invade my calm, routine life, replacing it with a whirlwind of newness. It’s been an adventure. It’s been exciting. It’s been fruitful. It’s been really fun.

And truthfully at times, it’s been really difficult, painful and lonely.

Several weeks ago I went home to Washington State for the second time since my cross country move. Because my first visit back went off without a hitch, I wrongfully assumed this would be the same. In reality it wasn’t. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that I returned a bit of a hot mess.

But, do you know what? Amidst my mess was Jesus. He so tenderly loved me and spoke to me both through His Word, through circumstance and through others. It was if every conversation breathed the same central message, “Trust Me. I’ve got you.”

God has never promised me an easy life. He’s never said I’d have one without heartache, grief or confusion. And truthfully told, walking out life with Jesus is often a bit difficult.

But it’s always best. Jesus is most concerned with the condition of my heart rather than my state of comfort. He desires that I love Him well and in turn love others as He does. He longs for me to trust Him, not because He is power hungry, but because He knows me intimately; because He is not constrained by time, distance, resources or circumstance. Because regardless of my restrictions, He remains faithful.

Wherever I reside, whether that be in the Northwest or the Southeast, my desire truly is that God would be glorified in me, around me and because of me regardless of how I interpret my surroundings.

And lastly, if you have interacted with me within the last several weeks, thank you. More than likely God has used your words and actions to breathe new life into me. I truly feel like God has hand picked each person in my life. I am thankful for you each.

My prayer for you is the same as it is for myself. May we learn to trust Jesus regardless of what we feel like. May we learn to lean on His promises and walk them out as Abraham did–as truth before they even seem possible.


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